I decided to sum up my 9 minute rant on tailgaters and signally-challenged simpletons with licenses to steer down to 1 minute and 58 seconds.
Listen. It’s not up to me to make your dreams of punctuality come true. I’m not a genie, I’m not Satan Claus, and I’m not Jesus. So you’re not about to get a wish, a gift, or an answered prayer out of me, or my MPH.